


Hungry Like the Wolf

by FailureArtist



Series: Hot Mess [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Black Romance, Character Study, Dom/sub, Domestic, Gen, Multi, Nature, Original Character(s), POV Second Person, Slice of Life, Wordcount: 100-1.000
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-07-08
Updated: 2011-10-18
Packaged: 2017-10-21 04:21:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 9,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/220837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since nobody asked for it, here's a series of drabbles about the guy fucking Equius in My Motherfucking Best Friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ==>

 

Your name is LUPINE DURAND. You are a terrible person. You are an uneducated boor, a lazy oaf, a bully, a sadist, a murderer, a cannibal, a rapist and a necrophilia, an unrepentant bigot, and you have a poor diet. Most people would say the only good thing you do is make Equius Zahhak a better person. Other people would say that’s the worst thing about you.  They don’t live in the same universe as you.


	2. The Wriggler and the Woods

1

 

The white wolf smells the hairy wriggler. He relaxes after discovering the blood isn’t your own. It wouldn’t be the first time your blood confused someone.

 

2

 

You design your own hive, but you soon grow bored with it. You often escape Akela’s white paw and run off into the forest. The Alternia wilderness holds no fear for you, though you are still too young to fight most of the animals. After a while Akela grows tired of bring you back to the lawnring and gives into the wanderlust. But a troll needs a home. You build several cozy dachives tucked into the forest.

 

3

 

You have blue blood. You have always known this, but Equius Zahhak was the one who informed you that your hemospectrum value is 241º.  When he’s really angry he points out your blood is shamefully bright and not even very rare. It doesn’t fucking matter. You’re still a fucking blue blood.

 

4

 

You are one of the few trolls who can sleep without a recupercoon in this era. Often times you just lay down on the floor and sleep for fifteen minutes. You find it sad how dependant trolls are on those disgusting things. You openly scoff at the idea that a warrior race could be scared off by dreams of blood.  But you have daymares too. You are a wriggler lost in the woods. You try to find your lusus but only find a trail of blood that match your own. So whenever you can, you sleep in a recupercoon.  

 

5

 

Your abandoned dahives make easy pickings. You often find squatters living in them when you return. The animals you can kill, eat, and mount on the wall. You can’t mount the trolls.

 

6

 

You are a mighty hunter and warrior. Your strength equals Equius and you have much better dexterity than him. You have killed musclebeasts and other mighty animals. You are an excellent tracker and nothing can sneak up on you. You can brave mild daylight and you have met a rainbow drinker and lived to tell the tale. All the lesser blood trolls and even many blue bloods cower before you. No one dares bother you, not even your kismesis most of the time.

 

Vacuums scare the crap out of you.

 

7

 

When you were young, your schoolfeeding booth broke down. You sat in it every night for perigee wondering when it was going to start working. When you first visited/broke into your kismesis’ hive, the sliding doors freaked you out. You didn’t get a husktop until you were five sweeps and you didn’t get trolltag until you were six and a half sweeps. You hate technology. You punch more robots than Equius.

 

8

 

If you knew your name came from a musical group filled with pretty alien boys, you would be so pissed. The Barbarella reference would go right over your head. You never were much for movies.

 

9

 

Your lusus is the only creature with whom you feel true empathy. The three-eyed wolf is the only thing you feel sentimental about in this universe. When you reach maturity you fully expect to take him along with you into space. You would die without him.

 

You find Equius and his lusus creepy.

 

10

 

You grew up being the only blueblood around. Usually only lowbloods live out in the country and the wilderness. You were used to being so high up on the hemospectrum no one would even dare talk to you. The cat girl was different. She dared to look you in the eye and hiss at you. When she did abscond it was more like she was annoyed or tired of you instead of afraid. And so the dog and the cat became enemies.


	3. Courting

1

You first heard about Equius Zahhak from his moirail. She yowled that she was going to go sic her patron on you. She told you that he wasn’t a lowblood like her. You did consider her green blood low, but she was still the highest troll you had met so far in your life. You scoffed so she told you he was a powerful blueblood. You were fascinated and wanted to ask more but you were too proud. Instead you drew him out and stalked him as he stumbled around the wilderness.

2

You first heard about Lupine Durand from your moirail. She had come to you for help with a neighbor of hers.  You thought she could handle the situation on her own until she told him he was a powerful blueblood. It was bad enough that Nepeta lived the way she did, but she had extraneous circumstances.  His conduct disgusted you immediately.  He was not to be Nepeta’s kismesis. Instead, you would become the fighting couple’s temporary auspictice. You sought out Lupine and it was difficult. You wandered around the wilderness for a long time until he found you.

3

After all those nights and days of watching that idiot you finally get to jump him. You have surprise to your advantage but that soon fades away. What your opponent lacks in finesse he makes up in strength and rage. He almost pins you but you move away and he tears off your clothes and it’s all over for him. He is too awestruck to do anything else. Unfortunately, he’s also too sweaty to hold onto. The fight ends in a tie. You yell romantic promises to one another and abscond. 

4

Despite your mutual black feelings, you end up on an ashen date. Nepeta and her patron ambush you and chain you up. All three of you sit in a forest glade. He lectures you on your behavior but he is too waxen to think properly. Even the autistic girl can sense the chemistry between you. She is more angry at her patron for falling for your obvious superiority than at you. You can’t claim you weren’t aroused too. Everyone’s feelings get in the way. It also doesn’t help when you break out of your chains and run away.

5

Your moirail thinks you are only going off alone to find Lupine so you can have sloppy makeouts with him. You tell her that she’s wrong and you just don’t want her to get hurt. She is right. You tell him this later on the moors. He is hungry for you and he isn’t content with words. Ignoring your cries for decency he pins you down and has his glorious way with you. You had been saving yourself, but it is the maroonblood who saves you. A kismesis and a matesprite. Nepeta is half angry, half happy.

6

A moon segment after the devouring, your lover returns to his hive and you follow him. One night you break into his hive. You throw a rock through his window, jump in, and charge towards the sliding door. You skitter across the floor and fall into a pile of robot parts. Your lover takes advantage of your petrified state to grope you. Before it goes further you regain your courage and push him away. You wrestle, give each other hickeys, several robots are broken, you curse each other’s ancestors, and his lusus kicks you in the face. A good date.

8

You set up camp outside your lover’s hive with your lusus in tow. You sit outside all night, howling and masturbating furiously. During the day you hide in a crag. It rains, and he comes outside and yells at you for being such an idiot. He orders you to come inside but you refuse his order out of pride. He offers you his services as a host and you say something lewd that makes him wince. He opens the door wide and offers you a hot meal. The smell of bacon wafts out. You run in.

It's not bacon.

9

You sit down across from your lover at your dinner table. Finally, a black date without any lewd goings-on! All it took was a little self-control, a little  blueblood deceit, several robots, your strong lusus, and a pan of vegetarian bacon. Over a meal of tempeh parmesan you inform him that you will be his kismesis only if he doesn’t harm Nepeta or Aradia. He says you’re not worth it. ROBO-SLAP! He assents and asks to be released. You assent and set his chair to vibrate. 

Okay, so it wasn’t exactly a clean date.

10

The two argue about which time counts as their first date. The wolf says it was the ambush in the forest. The horse says it was the trap in the lawn ring. This is excellent. A black couple who agrees on the date of their anniversary is no black couple at all! 


	4. Mating

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Lupine is really fucked-up.

1

Your relationship with Equius is very physical and you wouldn’t want it any other way. You couldn’t have it any other way. Neither of you are good with words. When you want to communicate, you do it with punches and roars. You rarely communicate over the internet due to your technophobia, so when you talk it’s face to face. Everything is physical and when things get physical, they soon get sexual, and you both end up covered in seed and sweat. 

2

You learned how to masturbate before you could even produce genetic material. Your lusus didn’t stop you; he just licked his own genitals. Masturbating quickly becomes your favorite time-killer. You love to pleasure yourself with the warm body of a fresh kill after a long adrenaline-racing hunt.

Equius never masturbates. He thinks it’s a terrible, wasteful habit and he hates that you do it. He still has needs. You catch him sometimes leaning against a vibrating machine until he has an “accident”.   

3

You remember your first time. You are only five sweeps old and you have just pinned down an older lowblood and he’s crying and begging you not to rape him and you don’t even know what he means. A wet spot appears and you think it’s piss but it turns out it’s protective lubricant. You rip off his rags and feel his strange warm orfice. You turn to Akela. He nods. Shaking as much as your prey, you take out your already large bone bulge and thrust into him. After only three strokes you come. Your prey is catatonic. 

4

You didn’t learn about sex from some machine but from nature itself. You observed beasts mating and you practiced those techniques on any lowblood you could find. You don’t always have to force them. Sometimes they offer themselves up under the misguided belief that you’ll show mercy to them or their allies. One offered herself up out of lust but found you too much. One time you impaled yourself on a confused yellowblood’s handsome bone bulge but found it not to your liking. You have more experience than your lover, and yet he teaches you so much.

5

You didn’t know about oral sex until Equius put his broken teeth on your bone bulge. You pushed him off and he whinnied at you that he was just trying to perform fellatio. You allowed the nooksniffer to perform. You discovered it’s not much different from your own private cleanings but it feels much better. He can go down further on your shaft and he can get his tongue in your nook and waste chute. His sharp teeth don’t bother you; you love to feel them on your tough sheath. You never reciprocate and he never asks you.

6

Equius has tons of equipment for everything and sex is no exception. Even as a virgin he stocked many decorative pails. His hive is armed with a wide variety of painful whips, crops, and paddles. He has built terrifying vibrating machines and devices. He constructed powerful constraints for himself. You scoffed at all these items at first, but now you can’t live without them. You tease him about his claim that he didn’t plan on losing his virginities till he reached maturity. 

7

Equius’ body is a new experience before. You have had only one willing partner before and she couldn’t take you. He can take you and more. He exhausts you sometimes. Unlike your victims, he gives completely into the pleasure. His body vibrates under you. His faces twists into a smile. It is delicious. He was the first person you ever wanted to pleasure. Before you mated with him you actually wondered if he could take it and you howled in delight when he did take it to the hilt. He is your first real lover.

8

Equius is stronger than you most of time. Most of the time you only overpower him due to his overpowering lust for you. You love to overpower and you love overpowering him. You love inflicting pain and he loves taking it. Still, there are times when you want him to push back. One time you forced yourself onto his bone bulge. He came only reluctantly, you didn’t come at all. It was an uncomfortable but necessary experience. 

9

Your’s and Equius’ bodies are at the top of their form. You are FUCKING STRONG. Though you consider yourself better toned, you love admiring your kismesis’ body. He returns the favor. He worships your bone bulge, which nears the unrealistic sizes of his art. He calls it a masterpiece. You secretly think his bone bulge is a nice piece of meat. It rivals the one that yellowblood had, the only one you had ever demeaned worthy of being inside you. You would never tell him this. You wouldn’t want him to get a big head.

10

Would you two still be together if it weren’t for the great sex? If you couldn’t mate you’d be culled, so it’s a moot point.


	5. Top Ten Things You Hate About Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the huge space that follows.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Equius**

| 

**Lupine**  
  
---|---  
  
**10.**

| 

**Your smile causes fearful shivers. His smile causes mocking laughter. He just looks so fucking goofy. With his missing and broken teeth he looks like someone punched him stupid. Any attempts to punch him back to normal fails.**

| 

**He thinks his eyes look fierce, but those dark lashes look awfully effeminate. You could stand that, but when he’s sad, he seriously gets puppy eyes. If you point this out to him, it just gets worse.**  
  
**9.**

| 

**It goes without saying, but Equius sweats. A lot. He has to be toweled off constantly during sex or he slips around too much. You even hate the towels he uses. A blueblood warrior shouldn’t wrap themselves in fluffy white cotton. You don’t really care about the smell. Well, maybe a little, but that’s another story.**

| 

**Lupine tramps around in the filth of the outdoors and then brings it into your hive. You have furiously clean everything whenever he visits. If you hadn’t seen his dachives you would think he had never heard of a bath tub. He does seem to think ponds are a good substitute when they just make him scummy. He mates with you smelling like a wild animal and only afterwards showers. You can’t say it doesn’t arouse you despite yourself.**  
  
**8.**

| 

**Equius’ sweat doesn’t stink as much as it could. He says it’s because he doesn’t eat all that disgusting meat. Instead he eats disgusting vegetarian food. It’s so unnatural and so unbecoming in a blueblood. He could kill any animal he wants, but instead he buys weird glop off of some lowblood and stinks up the kitchen with it. He says beasts should be treated with respect. You say beasts should be treated with barbeque sauce.**

| 

**You have come to accept Nepeta’s hunting. She only hunts what she needs and her constitution demands meat. Lupine hunts for pleasure. He kills majestic beasts just because he can. Sometimes he doesn’t even nibble what he kills. You are sure his constitution could stand a vegetarian or at least low-meat diet. He won’t even try.**  
  
**7.**

| 

**Equius still drinks the feeding fluid his lusus’ supplies. At least he doesn’t suck on the udders of the hoofbeast but instead uses a milking machine. It’s still disgusting. As if to make up for his pupa-like behavior, he makes his lusus serve under him. They are suppose to be guardians, not butlers! You do think Aurthor is pretty cool though, for an herbivore.**

| 

**Akela is to blame for Lupine’s bad upbringing. The canine didn’t herded him back to the respectable lawn rings but rather encouraged his wild behavior. Lupine doesn’t have an appropriate relationship with his lusus. They are suppose to be guardians, not cohorts! During those rare times when Akela enters your hive, you try to stare down those three eyes. You fail.**  
  
**6.**

| 

**You spend a lot of time at Equius’ hive but you are still a little scared of robots. You hate that they look like living creatures but smell like dead metal. At times you seeing things that look like trolls and you ready to attack but it turns out to be just a droid and you stand down. Then it moves and you do attack. Robots are uncanny.**

| 

**You once visited one of Lupine’s dachives. It was filled with so many dead things you felt like vomiting. The outside wanted to make you vomit too. Too much ornamentation. Form should follow function!**  
  
**5.**

| 

**Equius after many tries can finally shoot an arrow. He sucks at it. He can’t even hit a target from five feet away. His eyes are bad from nights and days of squinting at electronic things while wearing dark glasses. Still, he sees himself as an archer at heart. He still uses that stupid arrow sign. He should use a broken bow sign. He goes around breaking bows like it was a fetish. It breaks your heart to see a weapon destroyed.**

| 

**Lupine loves nature but he doesn’t love paintings of nature. Sometimes he even rips up your canvases. You take this as a natural part of kismesisitude and you’ve hidden your more treasured works, but it still makes you sad to see a highblood not appreciate art. He doesn’t understand the stylization and just calls the musclebeasts unrealistic and crappy-looking. When pressed, he says if he wanted to see a perfect male form, he’d just look at you naked.**

 **How infuriating!**  
  
**4.**

| 

**Equius is ignorant of what goes on outside his door. He doesn’t know how to survive in the wilderness. You saw this first hand when you stalked him in forest. You actually had to secretly help him out (he wouldn’t eat the meat you left out for him so you had to rustle up some nuts and berries). If you hadn’t, the nerd might have died. How could he love pictures of nature but not nature itself?**

| 

**The great technology of troll civilization are beyond that oaf. He didn’t even have a husktop until you started dating, and he commandeered that withered thing off of a lowblood. You had to set up internet accounts for him as well as finally fix his schoolfeeding booth. He is still uneducated in many matters and refuses to learn. If he can’t figure it out right away, he quits. The coward is still a bit spooked by anything automatic. Technology is your passion and his hatred.**  
  
**3.**

| 

**Equius has to spend all night doing something. He spends all night stomping around and banging on robots and making all sorts of noise. Worse off, he often trips over you! He makes you nervous watching him. He never relaxes. You try to fuck that nervous energy out of him. Yet even after an all-dayer you find him crawling out of the block to build some doo-dad. When will that troll just relax?**

| 

**Lupine is perfectly fine spending all night loafing about. He takes a nap, wanders about, and then takes another nap. Worse off, he often lies down right where you’re walking! He acts as though he has no energy. You know that isn’t true. He can go into a frenzy of activity when he wants to. He can hunt all night and mate all day. Yet even during those day sometimes his bone bulge is lazy, refusing to get fully erect! Plus he doesn’t finish his taxidermy projects.**  
  
**2.**

| 

**Equius is a submissive and that both infuriates and thrills you. You don’t think a blueblood should act the way he does. You don’t even think a lowblood should act the way he does. You are used to reluctant and sarcastic submission. His fawning submission disgusts you. You know he acts that way to any landtroll with higher blood and that angers you.**

 **You want to earn his respect. That doesn’t mean you don’t take his submission.**

| 

**You should be used to upper class trolls having no class. Vriska flarps about, Gamzee is a pathetic junkie, and the less said about Eridan the better. Still, Lupine’s misbehavior gets to you. You think it’s because he is so similar to you. His blood is only a degree different from yours. He is like you, if you just let yourself go and let all those foal words stampede out of your protein chute.**  
  
**1.**

| 

**Equius is a prissy little nerd. He’s a douchebag, a complete nookstain. He’s a shitty ass excuse for a blueblood. But he is your shitty ass excuse for a blueblood. You hadn’t even been hunting for a kismesis but you landed one with him. He’s taken over your life. He reins you in and treats you like a bad dog and you love it so much you hate it.**

| 

**Lupine is perfect. He has a disgusting personality and a weak mind but he is perfect. You often find yourself staring his godly form until he talks and ruins the illusion. He is your master and you must submit to him but sometimes it’s much too much. He’s taken over your life. You wished and prayed for the perfect black lover and this is the love you got.**


	6. What happened on the other end

You are awaken from your nap by the sound of Equius’ heavy breathing. You get up from your special rug and go over to his desk. You look over his shoulder and see he’s playing that Trollian game. The other player is a blueblood. Jealousy quickly rises in you.

“What the FUCK is göing ön?” you ask.

He doesn’t look at you as he says, “Just a little talk…with an old friend…I have it under control.”

“Have what under cöntröl?”

“He…flirted with me a little. But I turned him down!”

You read a portion of the log and go into a rage. That asshole hit on your asshole! You grab the husktop and run over to the rug with it. You sit down and start typing. With your kismesis looking over your shoulder, you have the conversation as seen in “My Motherfucking Best Friend”. 

After Equius signs off, you pick up his husktop and throw it against the wall. He groans in annoyance but he’s not too upset. After all, he has more where that came from. Instead, he turns to you with an sheepish look.

“Sir, please understand,” he begs, “As I told him, I was interested in Makara when we were…”

You pull him up from his seated position by his hair.

You growl in his face, “What döes this guy löök like, huh?”

Your lover’s snaggletooth jaw moves up and down as he tries to find the right words.

“Well…he’s tall…but he’s skinny! Very clumsy and awkward sir, not like you!”

“Is that suppöse tö make me feel better?”

His voice grows more confident. “Yes, he doesn’t compare to you, sir! You are certainly more attractive.”

This doesn’t comfort you. With your free hand you grab his crotch and almost start fingering him through his heavy shorts.

“And yet you still göt wet för that löser, huh?”

Your lover grunts as he tries to fight off his arousal.

“Explain yöurself! What did he dö tö turn yöu ön? Was it cömputer sex?”

“I…can’t…urrrggg…”

You take your paws off him. He catches his breath and then scowls at you.

“It is to be EX-spected that you would find evidence of arousal whenever you…so roughly grab me,” he says.

“LIAR! You were randy beföre! Dö yöu think I’m an idiöt?”

“Of course I do, we are kis…”

“I can smell yöur aröusal from a mile away, löver.” You start sniffing him. It does smell so good and it’s turning you on a bit. “It’s my FUCKING pröperty.”

Equius rears his head back with a whinny.

“I wasn’t aroused by him, per se, it was his words. He can be quite clever...”

“And you think I’m nöt clever?”

Silence hangs in the air between you. Even you have to admit you aren’t the swiftest dog in the pack.

You retort, “But still, umm, SHUT UP!”

You walk over to the broken husktop and throw it at a robot.

“Stupid technölögy making my böyfriend cheat ön me, flirting with söme indigöblööd…” you grumble.

Your blatant disrespect for technology seems to trigger something in Equius.

“One,” he says, “I was not flirting with him, he flirted with me and I turned him down, and two, you yourself aren’t that faithful.” 

You whip your head around, “What dö yöu mean by that?”

“You…” he stammers but gains his confidence, “you continue to rape any lowblud you fancy!”

“But I dön’t flirt with them first!”

Equius looks down at the ground.

“I used to…flirt with him…or at least a pathetic wriggler’s attempt at flirting. I was very desperate back then, but luckily I met you.”

You replied, “You bet yöur ASS yöu’re lucky.”

With that you jump him and push him to the ground. He lets you, like always. You start kissing him furiously. Between kisses you talk to him.

“He can’t dö what I dö för yöu, right?” you ask him. 

“No sir!” he spits out.

“He can’t döminate you like I can, right?”

“No sir!” 

“He isn’t as incredibly hung as I am…right?”

“Don’t know…I mean, no sir!”

“That’s right.”

Equius’ arousal returns. He thrust up against you. But he’s barking at the wrong tree this evening. You don’t really feel like having sex. You already feel tired out from this and want to go back to taking a nap. You get up off of him and sit in his chair. Equius props himself up.

“Sir?” he asks with a tremble in his voice.

“Too FUCKING early for this SHIT,” you grumble as you start to unlace your boots.

He stares at you expectantly as you take off your boots and socks. You throw them in the corner and then slouch in the chair. With a sly grin you wriggle your toes and motion for him to come. He crawls over to you. He knows what to do. He gives a goofy smile as he starts to lick and suck your feet.

It’s really for his benefit that you let him do this. Your feet are so tough and callused you can barely feel his soft tongue. But he really gets off on the depravity of being forced to taste your filthy feet. He is getting sweat on your feet and his bone bulge is threatening to destroy his shorts. Though you love seeing him squirm, you want him to feel pleasure.

You tell him, “This time yöu can jack yöurself öff.” 

Equius unzips himself. You yawn and close your eyes only to open them.

“Just dön’t pail,” you add.

You go to sleep. When you walk up, you finally fuck him, but in an almost tender fashion. You want him to know where his pleasure comes from. You want him to know the internet can’t do the things you can do to him. The combination of technology and highbloods made you feel so insecure, but now you know he is yours forever.      


	7. Virginity

**From your position on the moors you can see Aradia’s hive. You are still unsure of how you feel about her. However, it is not for her that you’ve come here.**

 **You turn around and you see Lupine Durand a few yards away. How long has he been there? Why didn’t you see him before? He crosses his arms and gives you a look that dares you to come to him. You do so with your head slightly bowed. He sneers.**

 **“Hey, yöu,” he calls out, “Finally föund me?”**

 **You say to him, “We need to talk.”**

 **“Böut what?”**

 **“About us.”**

 **His eyes go wide for a second.**

 **You say, “I think I have certain feelings for you…feelings that aren’t of the ashen nature. I would like to confess these feelings to you…on this night.”**

 **“Spit it öut!”**

 **You find the courage to look him in the eye.**

 **“Sir,” you say, “I am waxing obsidian for you.”**

 **He answers, “FUCKING scöre!”**

 **“Sir…Sir! Don’t mock my feelings...please, sir.”**

 **“Shut up, asshöle, I’m trying tö tell yöu I hate yöur guts tooo!”**

 **You smile.**

 **“Really, sir? Oh you rude brute, let us embrace!”**

 **“Embrace, huh?”**

 **You both step towards each other. He pulls you in and sinks his claws into your back. This is more than you expected from your first hug.**

 **“Lupine?”**

 **“Shut up and start biting.”**

 **He does start biting your neck. You are not comfortable with this.                  You moan, “This is just too much, I just don’t think we…”**

 **He shuts you up with a kiss. You give in and make out. Both your shirts get soaked in sweat. You leave serious bruises on his arm and he slices up your back. After ten minutes he pulls back and says,**

 **“Dön’t think I’ll be satisfied with just heavy petting. I’m hungry tönight.”**

 **He unbuttons his pants and his beastly bone bulge springs out from under his loincloth. You stare at it.**

 **“Hey, mörön,” he barks, “I didn’t take this öut för walkies. Bend över!”**

 **Your eyes shoot to his face.**

 **“Neigh, sir.”**

 **“You can’t say nö tö me, I’m a bluebloood! And didn’t yöu say I was higher than yöu?”**

 **“There are still things that are too lüd to ask for.”**

 **“But we’re kismesis! What’s wröng with FUCKING?”**

 **“This is neither the time nor the place!”**

 **Lupine unwraps the leather bands around his arms, lassos your leg, and pulls it sharply making you lose balance. When you fall he pounces you and you both slide into a depression. He pins you down.**

 **“I’m making it the right time and place,” he snarls.**

 **He is on top of you but you can easily push him off with your superior strength. You should push him off. It is too early to consummate your relationship and in this place anyone could come and see. But you are too aroused and your feelings get in the way. You hate him even more now for making you participate in such depravity. You lie as still as you can.**

 **“That’s better,” he says.**

 **He sits up and shreds off your wet shorts and underwear. Your seedflap is wet and engorged and your bone bulge points skyward.**

 **“Oh GÖD,” he growls.**

 **He starts shaking himself. He grabs his bone bulge and carefully forces the head into your nook. He slowly inserts it, stopping every time he gets to a rough patch. As gentle as he is you still grit your teeth. Finally he is in to the hilt. He tilts his head back and howls triumphantly.**

 **He then starts thrusting madly into you. The head bangs against the bottom of your nook causing a throbbing pain. Your seedflap is rubbed raw. All gentleness is gone. He is using all his strength now and your strength leaves you. You can barely make yourself grab him. Instead he tears at you with his sharp nails. He howls and growls and you grunt and hiss.**

 **His steady rhythm gets to you. Soon you near the breaking point. Your glasses have slide off, leaving you with no mask to hide your panic. You don’t know what to do. How do concupiscent partners inform each other that they need to use the pail? Did either of them even have a pail?**

 **“Pail…” you croak out, “Pail!”**

 **“Dön’t have öne,” he replies.**

 **You can’t take it anymore. Blue genetic material gushes from your stimulated nook. He just pushes it back in with his bone bulge. The fullness in your nook is uncomfortable.**

 **“I came,” you moan, “I already came.”**

 **“Tooo bad.”**

 **He doesn’t stop making hate to you. He’s not close to finishing and you know when he finishes he’ll use you as a pail. How primitive. How exquisitely primitive.**

 **The pain starts to turn into a high. You feel lightheaded and dizzy. Everything is so beautiful. You are with your true love and you hate him so much.**

 **Eventually Lupine comes inside of you with a long howl. Your genetic material mixes together in your nook. He pulls out of you and your seedflap reflexively closes. He shivers and looks down at himself.**

 **“Öh SHIT,” he moans, “I’m still HARD.”**

 **He pries open your nook again with his hand and then starts again. You can’t believe it. He’s a machine.**

 **The second time is no softer than the first time. It lasts longer and half way through you start feeling concupiscent pleasure again. Until then you had just been riding on the emotional high of being used. As he gets closer to orgasm, so do you. With a great roar you both come together. Your shared genetic material, mixed with blood, spills out onto the ground. Your orgasms were so strong that a little trickles out of your bone bulge and there is a trace of it in his nook. Lupine pulls out and you flop down boneless on the ground. Several bones are actually broken and you are losing blood. Before you pass out, you think, “That was the shit.”**


	8. Relationship

**1**

 **You throw Equius’ cans of Irn-Bru* down the stairs one by one. It’s not much, especially given that he uses a machine to open all his cans, but it’s the little things that help in a relationship.**

 *** Yes, trolls have Iron-Bru. What else would they drink when they’re hungover?**

 **2**

 **Neither you nor Equius would admit it, but Karkat is right about you guys. You do have a weird diagonal thing going. There are STRONG elements of moirallegiance in your relationship. Without meaning to, you temper each other. Equius’ nervousness and irritability has been mostly cured by finally getting the chance to submit to a powerful highblood. Your lust and cruelty has been mostly satiated by finding a willing partner. It’s not a perfect solution. He still breaks things, you still break trolls. Still, it could be worse. It could be much worse.**

 **3**

 **You spend much of your time at Equius’. Usually only moirails live together. It’s rare for matespirits to live together and unheard of for caliginous partners to share the same roof. But you don’t really live with him. You got your own places. You just drop in on him all the time because it annoys him. Plus, his hive is just nicer.**

 **4**

 **Your relationship with Equius is pure of pity. There is no soft tenderness. Neither of you feel that pull of sadness in your vascular blood-pumping organ at the thought of each other’s defects. If someone collected the genetic material from your matings (instead of leaving the humiliating mess in Equius’ nook) and analyzed it, they would find only the black chemicals. Later, when a Spawning Overseer meets with you, he congratulates you on your purity. Then he looks Equius in the mouth, hoping his broken teeth aren’t congenial.**

 **5**

 **Because of you, Equius and Aradia became matesprites. You stabilized their mobius double reacharound by becoming the focus of Equius’ hate and giving Aradia more reason to pity Equius. You continue to help out their relationship. If it weren’t for you, they couldn’t have sex. You beat the strength out of him, so that he doesn’t hurt her. You wish you didn’t facilitate their relationship, but what can you do? Hurting her would ruin the game of kismesisitude. He would have to avenge her. Anyway, it’s one more thing you can hate him for.**

 **This all becomes very ironic later.**

 **6**

 **Equius’ moirail is jealous of all the time you spend with him. She never got to spend any face-to-face time with Equius before you started dating him and now she has even less. She can’t come over when you’re there. Equius is too protective of Nepeta to allow that. Even though you and Aradia manage to be under the same roof without incident, it’s not the same with Nepeta. Tensions are higher. Besides, Equius points out, he likes being alone. A moirail should respect that. A kismesis doesn’t have to.**

 **7**

 **Though it’s not like you announced it to them, the peasantbloods who live on your hunting grounds suspect that you have a kismesis. Some of them figured out the identity of your lover. They are overjoyed that someone has taken the marauding highblood off their hands. They speak of Equius Zahhak in worshipful terms. He is their savior. Some of them even hope that he whips your ass back.**

 **8**

 **Nepeta has never liked your relationship with Equius, but she was dead set against it in the beginning. She suspected that you were just using him to get closer to her. By hurting Equius, she thought you were trying to make her waxen for him. When she saw that you weren’t hurting Equius, besides from the beatings and rough sex, she cooled down. She knew you would never pull such a dirty trick because you couldn’t think up any dirty tricks. Besides, you obviously don’t have any romantic feelings her.**

 **9**

 **Sometimes you wish you knew about all that technology stuff. Not because you find technology good in and of itself. It’s because if you were good at making robots, you could compete with Equius. You would build a good robot, he would have to build a better robot, you would build an even better robot, and so on. That rivalry is what kismesitude is made of. Instead you hunt and he builds and your paths don’t cross. It makes you feel a little inadequate. Then you remember technology is for WEAK lowbloods and you grow more waxen for Equius.**

 **10**

 **Even the least romantic troll knows that anyone who is destined to live is destined to love. They all believe they have partners in each quadrant and they pray that fate will bring them together. Even you feel this way. Given how compatible you are, it’s like you were created for the express purposes of being shipped with Equius.**


	9. Sloppy Drunk

**Lupine finds a lowblood’s illicit still and drinks up the product. He then goes to your hive looking like a mess.**

 **“Are you okay, sir?” you ask when you open the door.**

 **“I’m fine,” he replies as he pushes past you.**

 **He stumbles into the middle of the block and looks around like he hasn’t been here before. You walk over to him, head bowed as normal.**

 **You ask, “Are you sure you’re okay?”**

 **“GÖD, yeah, I feel great!”**

 **He spins around and almost falls on you but he catches his balance by swinging his arm around your shoulder. His face is right up in yours. His breath stinks worse than normal.**

 **“Sir, did you eat anything…unusual?” you ask.**

 **“Nah, I just ate meat and S-SHIT,” he slurs, “Cöme ön, let me kiss yöu.”**

 **“Let you?”**

 **He usually never asks. Whatever your answer would have been doesn’t matter, because he kisses you anyway. You take the time to try and figure out what his breath smells like. It reminds you of what Aurthor and Aradia use to clean your wounds. You push him away.**

 **You cry, “Liquor? Where did you find such vile substance on our planet?”**

 **He answers, “Löwblooods, I föund them, all aröund this metal vat, drinking from a jar, sö I decided tö try it. Tasted like herbs. Kind öf.”**

 **You snort in disapproval, but you are relieved that he isn’t sick, he’s just extremely foolish.**

 **He takes the empty jar out of his sylladex and throws it at the wall.**

 **“Wish yöu cöuld have drunk it with me,” he says sadly.**

 **He lifts his head up to the ceiling.**

 **“I was sooo looonely!” he howls.**

 **“Perhaps, if you had trolled me, I could have joined you.” You add, “Without partaking in any alcohol, of course.”**

 **He put his arm around your shoulder again and leans into you.**

 **“I löve yöu, man,” he whispers.**

 **“I…I know that, sir, but shouldn’t you put it another way?”**

 **“FUCK those fancy words, I löve yöu.”**

 **He then starts whimpering.**

 **“I löve yöu and we’re göing tö mature and I’ll never see yöu again.”**

 **“We’ll at least see each other at the Great Spawning.”**

 **He just buries his head into your shoulder. You put your arm around him awkwardly. This is entirely unacceptable behavior from a kismesis, but what could he do?**

 **He pulls back. His puppy eyes are a little misty but thankfully he’s not actually crying.**

 **He barks, “Take öff yöur shirt and turn aröund.”**

 **You gladly do this. Finally, something you understand! Though you don’t really want to have sex with him when he’s in such a WEAK state. You wonder if he even can.**

 **He puts his hand on your right shoulder.**

 **“Yöu beautiful BASTARD, I’m gönna give yöu a musclejöb.”**

 **You stiffen and turn your head.**

 **“A musclejob?” you roar, “That’s for conciliatory relationships.”**

 **“S-SHUT up and let me dö this, I wanna dö this.”**

 **You turn your head. He squeezes your shoulder, and then quickly moves downward. There is a sickening noise.**

 **“Sir, um, you pulled my arm out of my socket.”**

 **“Ooops, let me fix that.”**

 **“No, you don’t have to do that, Aurthor will take care of it.”**

 **“No, cöme ön!”**

 **Another sickening noise.**

 **“YOU PULLED OUT MY OTHER ARM!”**

 **“Ooops.”**

 **You turn around, just as Lupine vomits and falls forward. You are now covered in vomit with a troll on your shoulder and no working arms.**

 **You plaintively cry, “A-Aurthor?”**

 **When he wakes up, Lupine commands you to tell him what happened last night. Then he commands you to not tell him what happened last night. He spends the rest of the night griefing with a hangover.**

 **Good thing you stock Irn-Bru.**


	10. Measure of Love

**You are standing naked in block strewn with notes, drawings, and measuring tools. Equius is kneeling in front of you. All evening he’s been buzzing about you, quantifying every quantity you have. He’s measured the facets of your horns, the length of your nose, the space between your eyes, the circumference of your neck, the breadth of your shoulders, the girth of your chest, the span of your arms, the digits of your hand, the clinch of waist, the mass of your ass, the inseam of your legs, the size of your feet, and now he’s at his favorite part.**

 **“You can get much harder than this,” he scolds.**

 **You reply, “Nöt when I’m standing aröund böred öut öf my thinkpan. Can’t yöu give me a shöw ör sömething? Finger yöur noook?”**

 **“I…I can’t do that and measure you at the same time.”**

 **“Why are yöu measuring me anyway?”**

 **“I told you already, sir, I want to record the perfection of your physique for future generations.”**

 **You do not fall for such flattery.**

 **“Yöu aren’t göing to build a röböt öf me?” you ask, more anxious than you wanted to sound.**

 **“No, that’s ridiculous, why would I need a robot of you?”**

 **You look off into the distance. “Tö dö all thöse roböt things yöu like.”**

 **Equius grumbles some more as he strokes your half-hard bone bulge. You are too tired and frustrated to enjoy it, and besides he’s doing a terrible job.**

 **“Why did I agree tö this anyway?” you ask.**

 **He blushes blue.**

 **“In exchange for me allowing you to take me in that most filthy of places,” he answers.**

 **Your bone bulge sprouts up.**

 **“FUCK yeah I get tö dö yöu in the ass!”**

 **You push him down but he doesn’t budge.**

 **“Not right now,” he says through gritted teeth.**

 **You sigh loudly.**

 **“I dön’t knöw why yöu’ve göt tö be sö uptight aböut anal. Yöu let me dö all sörts öf FUCKED up things.”**

 **He doesn’t look at you as he jots down some notes.**

 **“Even in kismesisitude the line must be drawn somewhere. I have my dignity.”**

 **You scoff. “More like yöu have tooo much SHIT. Yöu’re cönstipated all the time.”**

 **“And don’t you think that would hamper things?”**

 **“I dön’t give a SHIT.”**

 **He looks up at you.**

 **“You disgust me,” he says lovingly.**

 **Equius goes back to work and soon finishes the job. He reluctantly fulfills his promise, hissing insults all throughout the messy deed. Later he builds a robot of you just to spite you. You destroy it immediately. It was very romantic.**


	11. Call of the Wild

**It was a mistake coming here. Only now do you realize it after moon segments of badgering Lupine. You said that as a committed couple you should visit each other’s hives. It wasn’t fair that Lupine had tromped into your hive numerous times and you hadn’t even seen one of his. You wanted to mess up his hive too! Yet now you don’t have the blood-pumping organ for such black romance.**

 **The journey took it out of you. Even though this hive isn’t much farther from Nepeta’s it’s still farther away than you ever travel. (Your moirail usually meets you halfway.) You had no problem walking so far but you were uncomfortable walking in the forest. It was hot and humid, filled with strange sounds, and so dark you couldn’t wear your shades. Lupine wasn’t the most understanding guide. He would often bound ahead in front of you and leave you totally lost. Worse of all, the things he said to you! He laughed at your lack of survival skills and called into question your fitness as a highblood. You know you are kismesis but the insults really cut into you. If you were back at your hive you could always point out that he use to not know how to turn on a husktop, but out here you feel so out of your element. It’s not that you don’t love nature, it’s that you only love nature in the abstract sense.**

 **When you got to the hive, you were appalled at how horrible it looked. The “cozy” hive was covered in the most tacky ornamentation you had ever seen. The inside was no better. It didn’t help that the place was in such bad repair. It was one thing knowing your kismesis has bad taste, that’s what attracts you to them, it was another being surrounded by it.**

 **That wasn’t the worse of it. It turned out a brownblood had been squatting in the hive, making the place even more squalid. You would have seen nothing of letting Lupine kill the intruder but your views towards lowbloods have softened. You see Nepeta and Aradia in every one. Along with platonic pity there were feelings of jealousy. She was pretty if rather dirty and you knew your kismesis would have raped her if you didn’t offer your body as a distraction.**

 **After he mated with you, and after you realized you couldn’t properly clean yourself, you cleaned his hive. All aftermidnight you spent clearing, repairing, sweeping, and scrubbing. How ironic. You came here to mess up his hive and you ended up making it better.**

 **Now it is morning and you are sitting on a fur rug across from Lupine. In between you is a horribly smoky firepit. Lupine has provided you with a meager meal of a handful of nuts and berries and a red mushroom that even you know is poisonous. He eats a huge piece of barbecued ribs. He is such a messy eater he has to do this shirtless.**

 **“Öh GÖD! Yöu’ve göt tö have söme öf this!” he grunts, “Öh yeah! Förgöt yöu can’t eat real foood.”**

 **You say nothing.**

 **“What the FUCK is wröng?” he asks, “Isn’t this suppöse to be a römantic trip? Argue with me!”**

 **You reply, “Sorry, sir, but I’m not in the mood. I spent the aftermidnight working to make your hive presentable. Besides, I shouldn’t disagree with a highblüd.”**

 **“FUCK, is this that söme öf that weird mind game shit yöu play? Fight fair, nerd.”**

 **“Sorry, sir.”**

 **Lupine sighs and goes back to his disgusting meal.**

 **As you watch him, you think to yourself that he is right. This is a romantic trip and it has actually been romantic. This morning you hate Lupine Durand so much. You hate him for making you feel so uncomfortable and insecure. You want to take revenge on him and right now your passive-aggressive pouting is the way to do it. Yet your resolve to be silent is tempered by your rage at his poor table manners. It doesn’t help that he’s doing it shirtless, making you both infuriated and aroused.**

 **He speaks up. “Hey, stöp staring at me, creep!”**

 **You break. “You are so disgusting and uncouth I could vomit!”**

 **You point as his sauce-smeared chest.**

 **“Lük at you! You can’t even eat right! If I could I would take you outside and blast you with a hose!”**

 **Lupine smiles and throws his head back.**

 **“Finally,” he laughs.**

 **You feel better too.**

 **He turns to you and says, “If yöu want tö clean me, dö it yöurself.”**

 **You uncaptchalogue a towel.**

 **“With yöur töngue,” he adds.**

 **You take the towel and wipe copious amounts of sweat off yourself. You then go over to where he lies. He looks surprised for a moment that you are actually taking him up on his offer, but then he smirks and lies back. You start licking the vile substances off of his neck and shoulders. He tenses up at the unexpected pleasure, and then shudders. The barbeque sauce his overly sweet and tangy and mixed in with blood and chunks of meat. It tastes almost as bad as his genetic material and it lacks the erotic appeal of that substance. You ignore the taste and concentrate on his muscles flexing under your tongue. As you go lower you study the body you know so well. You are meticulous in your work. You do not leave any sauce on him. Eventually, his chest is shiny with saliva. Despite your steadfast dislike of eating anything with meat, you like this. It’s so degrading and yet so sensual. When you reach his waistband, you pull yourself up and start licking his face in appreciation. He pulls you into a kiss, but his breath triggers something. You pull away, put your hand to your mouth, and run to the door to vomit. Lupine rolls his eyes.**


	12. Topping from the Bottom

**Lupine takes his arms away from your neck and throws them up in the air with an angry sigh.**

 **“Yöu threw the match för a third time!” he yells.**

 **You crawl off the mat to get your shades.**

 **“I think if you eXs-amine the fight you’ll find that you were the victor,” you say, “I simply wasn’t fast enough.”**

 **“Yöu weren’t even trying tö be faster than me! It was like fighting a dead tröll up in here! Yöu let me win!”**

 **“You still won. Congratulation, sir.”**

 **He groans loudly.**

 **“What’s the FUCKING pöint öf winning if yöu aren’t actually better?”**

 **“You are better than me.”**

 **“Better, ha, yöu dön’t think that. If yöu did yöu wöuldn’t höld back like I’m söme weak little löwbloood.”**

 **“Though you are STRONG, I can still hurt you.”**

 **“I knöw, you used tö bruise me up, and actually talked SHIT aböut me, and yöu were always submissive, öf cöurse, letting me FUCK yöu, but it’s just götten möre and möre, and it’s all because…all because öf what?”**

 **“I…I realized things were better that way.”**

 **“Better? It’s sooo boooring this way. What dö you get öut of it?”**

 **“I can’t explain it. It just feels so…right.”**

 **Lupine mutters, “Yeah, it is right cause I’m higher than you.” He then says, “But what aböut that marooonbloood?”**

 **“I know it’s wrong, but it still feels right,” you say, then add a little forcefully, “You could never understand our love.”**

 **“Löve, hmph, yöu’re just defective. Have yöu ever FUCKED anyöne?”**

 **“Aradia has let me penetrate her…I mean, I’ve penetrated Aradia.”**

 **Lupine laughs. “BULLSHIT.”**

 **“Should I ask Aradia if she would like to demonstrate for you?”**

 **“FUCK nö, I’m nöt watching yöu twö.”**

 **Lupine turns his head and rubs his chin.**

 **“But I wönder if yöu really are defective,” he says.**

 **He pounces you and pins you to the ground.**

 **“Nöt fighting back again, huh? Goood, because I want yöu tö sit still för this.”**

 **Grumbling, he quickly takes off your shorts and his pants, leaving you both naked. You wonder why he’s so annoyed at what should be a joyful task. You are enthused about the imminent mating. He strokes your bone bulge, a rare but not unusual move for him. You lie back and enjoy his claws on your sensitive flesh. He then stops, and nothing happens for a few seconds. You lift your head up and see him busy doing something very unusual. He has one finger in his nook and is trying to put in another finger. His eyes are scrunched up, but he opens them to look at you.**

 **“What are you looking at?” he growls at you.**

 **You obediently lie back again. You hear a triumphant grunt and then a hiss of pain. You close your eyes and don’t give into the temptation to look. A few more grunt filled seconds pass. You are feeling more confused and less aroused. Why is he trying to pleasure himself in such an unpleasant way when he could just have you?**

 **You feel his hand slowly stroke your bone bulge from the root to the tip.**

 **He murmurs, “…sö big…”**

 **“Huh?”**

 **“Nöthing, lie döwn!”**

 **You do so. He moves his knees up and suddenly, you feel something soft on the tip of your bone bulge. You look up to see him straddling your crotch and trying hard to sink himself down. He is grunting and cursing. You are silent and staring. He pays no attention to you, only focusing on your bone bulge and his nook. Sweat pours off his brows, almost as much sweat as you. Seeing no progress, he lifts himself up. He starts groping your wet seedflap. You think this means he’s giving up on his earlier enterprise, but instead of doing the proper thing, he just rubs the secretions onto himself. He gets back in place and with a great exhalation, finally relaxes enough to allow the tip into his nook. You both hold your breath as he slowly sits down on your bone bulge. You finally look into each other’s eyes.**

 **You violently break the silence. “You’re a highblüd!”**

 **“Sö are yöu,” he hisses.**

 **“But…you are higher than me!”**

 **“And yöu’re higher than that marooonbloood but yöu LET her böne yöu.”**

 **You have no answer to that. That’s different. This just feels so wrong. The sensation is so unusual. Your kismesis’ nook is so cold and uninviting. It’s tight around you, but there is no clenching. And there is just something in the air that makes your vascular blood-pumping organ hurt.**

 **Your kismesis moves up only to come down again. He starts bouncing on you. Your half-hard bone bulge bends a little.**

 **“Cöme ön, get HARDER,” he says.**

 **He sinks his claws into your sides. He’s probably doing this for his pain, but it helps your arousal.**

 **Lupine says, “Better, but, ugh, yöu still SUCK. Can’t yöu thrust?”**

 **You do so quickly and he gasps in surprise but then chuckles.**

 **“Sö, ahh FUCK, is this höw you are with that löwbloood? This höw yöu give it tö her?”**

 **“Oh, Aradia,” you moan.**

 **“Yeah, her ön töp, her thighs aröund yöu…bet she has great legs under that skirt?”**

 **You throw your head back, eyes closed, and imagine it’s her on top of you. But you thrust harder than you do with her, and you don’t try to hold yourself back. You desperately want to be done with this strange exercise.**

 **Finally, with a sad hiss, you pail into him. Lupine stops and rises off of you. You sit up on your elbows. He is standing and examining the little genetic material leaking out of his nook.**

 **“Pathetic,” he says.**

 **You bow your head in shame. You failed his test.**

 **“I’m göing tö take a bath,” he says.**

 **He looks at you with something near pity.**

 **He adds, “I’ll let you wash me.”**

 **You smile goofily. He sighs as he walks away.**


End file.
